Unicorns do exist!

In the adoption community, stories are told of adoptive parents that have been matched with "healthy" children in the China program. These stories usually go something like this...

"Did you hear about the couple in Florida? They are my neighbors, sister-in-law, nieces, cousin who adopted from the China special needs program and they got a healthy child." I'm not saying these stories are untrue. But they have become mythical tales in the adoption community that all adoptive parents hear of. These stories keep us hopeful that our children's special needs will be less than what we anticipated. In reality, few really know someone with a healthy child from China these days. They do, however, exist.

I've seen pictures of some of them on adoption group pages and I follow a few Mom's on Instagram that parent these mythical children.

These children are often referred to as 'unicorn babies'. They are called this because they are a myth, a fairytale and almost too good to be true in the China adoption program. Adopting a healthy child is like finding a unicorn. These unicorn children are what actually draw more people to adopt. Whatever the tale is, it brings more people into the international adoption community and more orphans get homes. I don't care how many tales are told. As long as kiddos keep finding forever families, that's all that matters!

Growing up, healthy children were the norm in international adoption. Every kid I knew that was adopted internationally was "healthy". The program changed over the years. Now, it is a "special needs" program. The children range anywhere from minor/correctable needs all the way to what agencies classify as severe. I don’t like that word AT ALL. Severe special needs sounds horrible. I think some parents are scared when they hear that word and shy away from children’s files. Please don’t.

My sweet Kyli’s needs were more than I was looking for. But the moment I saw her face, I knew she was my daughter.

Was it a long road to get her healthy? Yes.

Were there a lot of painful moments and tears? Yes.

Were her therapy sessions horrible to watch her go through? Yes.

Was it all worth taking a chance on a child with more involved needs? 110% YES!!!

I’ll shout it from the highest mountain until my dying day that it was all worth it over and over again!

All of us adoptive parents are beyond thankful for the special needs program. Our special needs kiddos are our miracle babies. They've survived things that most people can't even imagine. They are the most inspiring little humans. They never complain and always defy the odds. These children have completed our families and made us whole.

Kyli is my miracle baby. Her finding story and first years of life are hard to hear. It is her story and her truth. I won't shed too much light on it but it was pretty traumatic. It truly is a miracle she is alive and breathing today. I recently told someone her finding story and the woman was bawling by the time I was done. She told me I was an amazing person.

She was wrong. I'm not the amazing one, Kyli is. She survived it. She was the fighter. The moment I met her, she gave my life a purpose. Period. I’m so lucky I get to be her Mom!

During the second adoption, I was insistent that I wanted another girl with lucky limbs like Kyli. When Kalysta's file came through on the shared list, it said she had a lower limb deformity. It was a perfect match. I had notified Kyli’s medical team members that there was another limb differential kid coming and they were ready!

There was, however, a doubt in my mind on her condition before we left for China. During the months when we were waiting to get a confirmed date, I kept reviewing her medical file. There were gaps in the information. I would study her photos trying to figure out if she was wearing braces on her feet. And then there was that one photo where her feet looked like nothing was deformed. That one kept me up for so many nights. I analyzed everything for weeks. Ultimately, I had to wait until I met her to get answers.

Then came that first night in the shower...

I looked down at her feet and there they were.

Ten tiny toes...

on two little PERFECTLY STRAIGHT FEET!

Seeing her feet explained so much. It explained why the medical file didn’t match up with the photo. Could another child’s file have gotten mixed in with hers? Maybe. Could she have another special need that they didn’t disclose? Possibly. I tried to find any sign of any special need that first week with her and came up with nothing.

Ultimately, I didn’t say a word to anyone while we were in China. I kept on going through the motions to complete her adoption and make her a citizen. It wasn’t until the day of her medical examination that I got nervous. I took my Dad with me to the medical exam. Mom and Kyli stayed back at the hotel to swim. Once we arrived at the clinic, we were instructed to put down EXACTLY what our child’s special need was on a form that matched the info on the referral file. So, I wrote lower limb deformity. I knew when I got to the physical examination that it would be questioned. I remember going in there leaving my Dad in the hallway. I was so nervous wondering what would happen.

The doctor read over her Chinese file and her English file. He asked me what her special need was in her file and I said, “Lower limb deformity.” He started to examine her and I started to sweat. He turned to me and said, “Where is the deformity?” To which I replied, “I don’t know. Also, I read in that file she had flat feet too. Could that be it?” He immediately said “She doesn’t have flat feet. There’s no deformity anywhere.” He put her down on the floor and told her to walk. He examined her legs and feet for what seemed like forever. When he was done, he crossed out limb deformity on her file and wrote something in Chinese. He turned to me and said “She has no deformity. You are very lucky. Very rare.” He handed me the paper and I walked out the door.

After completing three more exams, that was it. She was mine. Dad held Kalysta as we got in the elevator. The door closed and I turned to him and said, “She’s a unicorn baby” to which he replied, “Yes, and while you were in there I found out why her adoption was delayed.”

He had spoken with one of the agency staff members who asked him if anyone had told us why we were delayed. When Dad said we didn't know, the staff member filled him in. Dad told me the story in the lobby. As he spoke, I cried. I kept touching Kalysta's face and crying. All the questions and the anger I had pent up for three months were finally released because we had the answer. The details I will not put in here because frankly, I don’t know if the person that delayed our process could read this one day and punish another family adopting in that province for my harsh words. I also don’t want to have hatred any longer towards the person that made our lives a living hell for three months. I have prayed this person finds either Jesus or love in their heart one day. If that person doesn’t find either of those, that’s on them. Let’s just leave it at he/she didn’t want Kalysta to be my child. This person felt she would be better suited for a local family (since she was healthy) and hoped I would give up. NEWSFLASH! You messed with the wrong Mom honey!

If you want the story, Kyli will gladly tell it to you. We’ve told it so much, she is the one that tells people now. LOL! What I will tell you is that God moved mountains to make Kalysta mine. He was working overtime to place her with our family. I’m so thankful for our friends, family, church and Upon A Star co-workers that prayed endlessly for us. The power of prayer worked at the end of the day and Kalysta found her forever home. I’m also thankful to my adoption agency who fought for her as well. I’m forever grateful for them for escalating our situation until we got a resolution. Most agencies would tell parents to give up and move on to another child. Not mine. They were with me every step of the way!

By the end of our third week in China, I had seen a few posts on some adoption groups that there was a new family in China currently that had been given a child with no special needs. I wondered how this was even possible for them to know. Maybe someone overheard us talking? Or maybe someone back home that I talked to told someone else who told someone else and they were a member of the adoption community boards. Who knows! Then again, that is how that unicorn baby rumor starts and thus a new myth is born!

So, if you’re a part of the adoption community and you’re reading this, you don’t have to search the threads on the adoption pages. Let me reassure you that my agency didn’t promise me a healthy child nor was I looking for one. You don’t have to confirm that your in-laws, nephews, neighbor's, co-worker’s, friend from Pittsburgh got a unicorn baby. Instead, let me confirm with you now...

I’m Heather. I’m a Mom to two beautiful girls from China. Kyli is a miracle baby. Kalysta is a unicorn baby. BOTH of them are equally loved and wanted. God moved mountains to get both of them here. Miracles do exist. Unicorns do exist.

Want to know an amazing thing about miracles and unicorns?

They’re BOTH a part of a happily ever after FOREVER family!❤️❤️

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