Fighting for Mother's Day

Today is a day I fought hard for. I overcame so much to celebrate this day.

I conquered criticism, paperwork, clearances, financial hurdles, and took on two different governments, TWICE!

I did it all as a single woman.

Me.

I did it. Just me.

So, pardon me while I pat myself on my back and enjoy Mother's Day.

One day, my girls will learn just how hard I truly did fight to bring them home. Being a mother of two is nothing short of a miracle from God.

I'm grateful. I'm humbled. I'm blessed.

The name, Mom, means so much more to me than most because I fought so long and hard to have the title. Because of this, I'm reminded of how hard this day used to be for me. So, I struggle to shout it from the rooftops and post on social media celebrating this day every year. I know first hand how painful it can be to watch others celebrate Mother's Day.

Ten years it took me to be a Mom. Let that sink in. Yep! I said ten!

Of those ten years, seven of them were filled with endless medical appointments, tears, anger, and utter disappointment. It was tough. Although those days are far behind me, I'll never forget those days of what seemed like endless sadness and helplessness. There are so many women who dread today. When they hear those two simple words 'Mother's Day', it makes them depressed. Trust me, I've been there. I feel for you. My heart hurts for you. But I implore you, DO NOT GIVE UP!

Kyli's adoption took 3.5 years. Waiting for her was the darkest time of my life. I mean really dark. There were many nights I would lie on her bedroom floor, crying myself to sleep. I would beg God to bring her home to me. There were so many days I thought I couldn't go on. But every morning, I would look myself in the mirror and tell myself to keep going.

I had to. She was out there. I believed it in my soul.

I woke up every day to fight another day until May 13, 2015. That is the day I got the call that would change my life. I remember the director saying "Heather, I think we found your girl." My girl. Mine. I still have that voicemail on my phone. I don't think I'll ever delete it. It means to much. It was the day my life took the right turn onto the road of happiness.

I remember Kyli's gotcha day like it was yesterday. I remember my nerves, the anxiety and all the emotion that I had built up waiting for that moment. The moment I would become a Mom. I still watch our gotcha day video. It still makes me cry. It always will.

My whole life changed that moment Kyli walked into my arms that day.

Kyli saved my life. Friends and family will tell you she did. Her and I will always have a special bond because she made me a Mom. She was my light in the storm, my glimmer of hope, my miracle. Miracle. That word is so powerful. And that's truly what she is, my miracle.

Kyli doesn't have a bed time. Go ahead and judge me. I really don't care. Primarily because she is a night owl like me and we function the same. Additionally, when Kalysta falls asleep at night, that gives me bonding time with just Kyli. We catch up on each others day, plan our next vacation and in a way time travel back to when it was just me and her. She doesn't need it as much as I do. She is my center, my calm. God knew what He was doing when he sent her to me.

I know I'm lucky. I know that I was not only blessed once but twice with two amazing kids. But I also know, that seeing me with my kids can be painful to some. There is a woman out there that sees us at TJMaxx and smiles but thinks "Motherhood won't happen to me."

I beg of you please, please, please do not give up hope.

Fight for your title of Mom. Do whatever it takes.

You're so much stronger than you know. You won't realize how strong you are until you look back at your dark time years from now.

To the woman who longs to have a positive pregnancy test, I pray for strength for you.

To the woman who's struggling with IVF, I pray for strength for you.

To the woman who's waiting for a surrogate to have a successful implant, I pray for strength for you.

To the woman who is waiting to be matched through adoption, I pray for strength for you.

To the woman who had a miscarriage, I pray for strength for you.

To the woman who had to carry her stillborn child to term, I pray for strength for you.

To the woman who longs to be a Mom more than anything else in the world, I pray for strength for you.

No matter what your circumstance, no matter what your fight, I'm praying for strength for all of you. I pray that all of you receive your miracle no matter how it comes to you.

I'm so grateful for my two girls. They are my gifts from God and they truly are my dream come true. Do not think for one second I take them for granted. I love them with every fiber of my being and I will until the day I die. They are the ONLY things that matter in my life.

I'm proud to be their Mom and I'm proud that I have that title.

I deserve to celebrate Mother's Day. I fought for it!

But Mother's Day will also have me praying for the women who long to hold their little ones in their arms.

To those women, fight. Fight to the death.

Believe in miracles. Believe in your dreams. Believe in your Happily Ever After.

Because when it all happens, you'll look yourself in the mirror on your first Mother's Day and say, "I never gave up. I did it. And I DESERVE this day!"

This post is dedicated to Kyli and Kalysta's birth mothers in China.

This day is possible because of both of you.

Thank you for giving me my miracles. Happy Mother's Day!