Called to adopt...AGAIN!

In the international adoption world, specifically China, families have to adopt children with special needs. Most of you know this as you followed my adoption journey with Kyli. The special needs that these children have can vary. Some needs are minor. Some are more involved. Bottom line, they tell you that there are not "healthy" children available to adopt.

Let me be clear...I wanted a special needs child. Specifically, a limb differential child just like my sweet Kyli. Having another "lucky limb" child would be easy for us because we are already so familiar with the specialists and surgical teams here in Pittsburgh. Kyli didn't have straight legs when I brought her home from China. She also didn't have the hands and toes that you see on her today. Some people don't know this. Others, have forgotten how much pain she was in when she came home. I'm so thankful for the amazing medical professionals at Children's Hospital here in Pittsburgh. They gave my daughter the ability to walk. I will NEVER forget that.

Kyli's limb issues are our normal. To be honest, neither of us ever even realizes she has lucky limbs usually until some rude child LOUDLY addresses it in public. This is a fact! The truth hurts but that's usually how it happens. She does everything a child with ten fingers and toes would do. In fact, most times, she does it even better. My girl can run circles around anyone these days. She amazes me every single day. Truly, she is my inspiration. She never complains, never plays the victim and NEVER EVER allows anyone to tell her she can't do something. In short, she's practically perfect in every way.

Because she was so perfect, two years after her adoption, I felt a calling to adopt again. Anyone that knows me will tell you when I came home from China the first time, I was done! I said "She's going to be an only child. I don't have the emotional stamina to go through this again." I wasn't lying. At the time, I didn't.

Kyli's adoption took every ounce of my soul to complete. I waited for her for 3.5 years. She was born shortly after I applied to the program. I was about to give up when God stepped in and placed her file in the system. Waiting took a toll on me. Those times were so dark. I barely remember them now but at the time it was a chore to get up in the morning knowing she was out there somewhere. We were matched together in May, 2015. I traveled in October to get her and we became a forever family on my birthday. Talk about fate!

For two years, we lived life. Every day was a fairytale. It was non-stop giggles, getaways and endless "I Love You" moments. It was a dream. The voice that kept telling me that I should consider adopting again, I tried to shut up. I would ignore it on purpose. But the voice kept getting louder. I sat Kyli down one night and tears started streaming from my eyes as I asked her what her thoughts were on adoption and becoming a big sister.

Let me be clear, I was terrified. How was I going to raise two children on my own? How could I afford a second adoption? Would Kyli feel less loved? Would Kyli feel like I was replacing her? All these questions and no answers. What was I doing to our life?

After talking it over with Kyli, I cornered my Mom one weekend. I remember telling her "I don't want you to tell me your opinion right now but what I'm about to say is going to sound crazy. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I just need you to support me whether you agree or not. I want to adopt again and I'm terrified even saying it out loud! "

I remember her face and her response, "If this is what makes you happy then, I support it. Also, this means I’ll have two little Princesses!"

I remember my Dad being concerned. Primarily, financially for me. I had maxed out all my credit cards to bring Kyli home. And here I was finally able to breathe again and I wanted to put myself in a dark financial hole again. That scared him. Looking back, I don't blame him. He just wants what's best for me in life and doesn't want to see me struggle like I had in the past. The good news was, I had a part-time job with Upon A Star Travel (that I loved and still do as you all know) and I told him that second income would help me. That income was going to help fund my adoption. He told me if it was what I truly wanted, then he would support my decision.

Don't get me wrong. I know I have the most amazing parents. I know most parents wouldn't go to China once let alone twice to watch their daughter's dreams come true. I also am aware of how lucky I am that they raised me to put family first. That's where this stems from...FAMILY! The photo in this post is from the day we submitted our Dossier. We said a prayer and asked my Pap to bring us our girl. I posted this picture on Facebook and no one had any idea what was in that envelope. That envelope held the future for our family. The man in that photo is the ONE person I longed for Kyli to meet. But I’ve always said he picked her for me. I believe he sent her sister to us too. The love of a family survives this life and the next. It's immeasurable and knows no boundaries. Our family has had that love for four generations. We had God, my Pap in heaven and each other. It was all we needed to survive another adoption timeline.

After interviews, home studies, social worker visits, mounds of paperwork and endless certifications, we were officially "waiting" to be matched. My immediate family, 5 friends and my Upon A Star co-workers were the only ones that knew. I told them all we would just go on with life as is. The adoption agency told me that the wait wouldn‘t be as long as Kyli’s process. I told them I had 2 years in my mind as a timeline and that I would forget about it until then. For the next two years, we lived our lives and prayed.

Why the secret? Frankly, the people that matter to me in life were the ones that needed to know. I didn't care about anyone else. Plus, if we weren't matched, I didn't want all the questions. Waiting is the worst in adoption. And the questions, while people mean well, the questions kill adoptive parents. You're reminding them that their child isn't here. We know you mean well but it hurts. So, we kept quiet.

In August, 2019, my phone rang and Beth from the agency said, "Heather is your heart racing? I bet you are wondering why I'm calling. I think we found your girl. Wait until you see her picture. She's perfect for you. And ready for this? She's in Disney clothes and standing on Disney sheets in her referral photo. This is perfect."

I remember not responding. I was in shock. I told her to send the photo and information over and I would review it and give her an answer in the morning. When I opened the file, a single tear fell down my face. The chubbiest little girl with the biggest smile was standing there on Mickey sheets. This was my girl. I couldn't believe it was happening. The next morning, I submitted my LOI to adopt her.

I had known her name for over a decade just like Kyli's. Her face fit her name. I had my child of Hope in Kyli. Now, I would have my child of Faith in Kalysta. This was it. I was saying yes to finally complete our family!

What I didn't know is how hard the next few months would be with trying to get a date nailed down for her adoption. Now that I know what the hold up was, it all makes sense now. But at the time, it was rough.

Kalysta's special need was a 'lower limb deformity' or so they said...

#adoption #specialneedsadoption #chinaadoption #themoanamom #family #adoptionrocks